The whole family has been in some stage of sickness over the last two weeks. A cold with a determined purpose of aggravation and misery has plagued us non-stop and has only relented this morning. Michele had it worse than any of us but we have all suffered all of the symptoms you would have listed for you during a Nyquil commercial.

But yesterday there were signs of life and I was itching to get out of the house and just do something relaxing. All day Sunday I watched videos of other guys riding and crashing their motorcycles. This made me want to ride and feel the road. There were a few housekeeping issues to address with Sluggo, my 2007 Honda VTX 1300R. He needed his 2012 decal placed on the license plate but that is easier said than done. A few years ago I bought a license plate holder that has built in LED lights for the brake light and turn signals. To apply the decal the whole thing has to be taken apart and reassembled. I have ridden Sluggo several times since I bought the decal back in August but I had never put the decal on. Also, when I originally installed the holder I wired the red light to the taillight circuit. Ever since I have regretted this and wished I had wired it to the brake light. Michele bought me a seat cushion because any long period of riding on the stock seat made my ass feel like a new mile marker on I-16. The cushion is designed to come off when you need it to but I wanted to make it more permanent. There was no time like the present to get all of this done. I enlisted my bought and paying for teenager to help me.

As I started on the plate holder I had Jake take off the seats and work on the cushion detail. It took us an hour but we got it all done. I even charged up my Bluetooth device that allows me to listen to music from my cell phone while I ride. We checked the tire pressure and reassembled all of the parts. I checked the lights and sat on the seat cushion to make sure it was where I wanted it. It was all perfect and I couldn’t wait to get on the road the next day.

I knew that Monday was going to be chilly so I cooked breakfast for Michele and me and lazed around until we needed a nap. In my mind I was waiting on it to warm up in the early afternoon so I could be comfortable riding. I got up and jumped in the shower with thoughts of feeling the engine under me and plotting my route. I don’t ride every day but when I do ride I try and dress appropriately. It was going to be 55 degrees at its peak so I dressed warm. A temperature of 55 degrees outside means about 40 degrees on the bike. I put on two long sleeve shirts, long underwear, blue jeans, thick socks and boots. I looked like the pissed off marshmallow man in Ghostbusters. I put on my bandana and was ready to play Easy Rider.

I said goodbye to Michele and told her I loved her. I was beaming with excitement. I could see the beautiful sun shining down on the island and I was ready to get under it. I knew my first stop was to get a full tank of gas and then I was off to explore the road on two raging wheels of rice burning technology. I placed my helmet, gloves and sunglasses on the hood of the Jeep. I wanted to get Sluggo out of the garage so while he warmed up the exhaust wouldn’t choke out the cats, God forbid. I loaded my bag with my gun, wallet and badge. I am ready. I take seat and stand him up. I turned the key and pressed the start button waiting to feel the rumble of the V-Twin under me. And then………..not a damn thing. Oh I got the three turnovers that give you dashing hopes of ignition but in the end Sluggo was as dead as a rib bone at Oprah’s house. I keep pressing the start button hoping I can milk just enough fire to get things rolling. No Mr. Strickland, not you.

What this means to the person who doesn’t have a bike is probably, oh well, just jump it off. If you have a bike, especially my make and model, you know that to get to the battery to try and jump it off means removing the seat. With that realization my dreams and hopes were destroyed. I did remove the seat to try and jump it off but to no avail. I gave in to fate and just put the charger on it and changed into my around the house bum clothes. My theory is that with all of my light testing the night before and the cold weather Sluggo said fuck it. So did I.