Welcome to the CRUD!

I am sitting at home today with what I am afraid is the beginnings of the Savannah Crud. If you don’t know what that is just image a cold that you get when the seasons change that lasts for about a month. For the past 5-6 weeks I have been watching the people around me in my life fall like dominoes to the crud and I have watched and heard them cough and hack like they had been mining coal in West Virginia for the past 40 years. Sarah gets a cold about every other month but this one is still sticking with her. She sounds like she has been sucking on Lucky Strikes with pot-Ash but the child can’t even stand to eat a decent taco. So I know she hasn’t been sneaking cigs in her room. It’s the damn Crud hanging on like it’s waiting out a half-life.

 As I have watch friends and family succumb to the crud I knew in the back of my mind that I would eventually get it. It was just a matter of time. I have been working on a project at church for almost two months and last night I declared it completed. So, as Mr. Murphy predicted, in the middle of the night I started feeling the symptoms of the notorious yet unexplained Savannah Crud. We have some close friends that are fairly new to Savannah and all of them have been dealing with this affliction for two months. They are from south/middle Georgia where a cold is a cold. It hits you like a ton of bricks, lasts about 10 days and suddenly goes away. The Crud eases in like a thief in the night and latches on to your respiratory system like the egg layer in “Alien”. If you haven’t seen that movie I am sorry for you. Rent it, it’s awesome. Then you’ll get the reference. So it clings and stays with you. It stays with you and then it stays until it decides to really bother you. Then, you guessed it, it aggravates you like a mother-in-law talking about her corns to the priest standing outside of church holding up the receiving line.

All the years I was patrolling I would get the crud and just go to work and struggle through it. Troopers are supposed to overcome small obstacles to get the job done. That shit never really worked so I stayed home today. I am a volunteer so I get to do that. The only difference is that I really like who I work with now and I love what I do. No guns or court involved. Well, not yet.  But I decided to stay home and rest. Several articles, friends and significant others all told me to drink lots of fluids. So I have. I have seen the throne from the standing position more than I usually do in a week. I basically feel the same as I did this morning so I guess the night will show us if the crud can be defeated by liquids and sleep. I’m not optimistic.

My lovely wife brought me home the soup I wanted so my insides are nice and toasty. I am still funneling fluids like a Cadillac at the gas pump. Thank God the costs aren’t the same. Savannah is a beautiful place to live with many things to do.  One of which is to catch a cold that hangs on like herpes on a rock star. Ain’t life grand?