Saturday Jake and I headed to the farm to get some firewood. I had been planning this trip for quite some time. I have also been preparing for it too. Those two statements can also be taken to mean that I have been looking forward to it. Now you may ask why in the world would anyone look forward to cutting and splitting firewood. You forget that I am neither normal or completely sane. I have been looking forward to this day for several weeks and apparently the day was waiting on my ass as well.
I am by no means Mr. Macho but I am a typical guy. I like guy tools and guy stuff. I like to know how to do guy things and I try to be a do-it-yourself man. I have learned over the last few years that there is a time to realize when I am over my head and to “call the man aunt Bee”(a true southerner gets the reference). But there is not much to gathering wood for the fireplace or so I thought. About a year ago I bought a chainsaw. It’s the smallest gas saw you can get but it’s all I needed at the time. A few weeks ago I bought a trailer. If you don’t have a truck you need a trailer to haul wood. Right? I already had the ax, splitting maul, splitting wedge and sledge hammer. So now all I need is the most important tool, a teenager. I just happen to own one of those units and I let him know we had a mission.
On Friday night I told Jake, said teenager, to get up at 7 and we would head out for the woods. I got up at 6:45 and was ready in about twenty minutes. Jake on the other hand was still dead to the world. I rustled him up and we got a move on. The girls woke up Michele so I got to say bye to her before we left. We got a couple of Egg McMuffin’s and headed south. The farm I am referring to is the farm that my mother grew up on. We still own half of it and it is loaded with fallen trees for me to choose from. It is located in Wayne County outside of Jesup.
We get to the farm and we head into the woods. The little road my grandfather used to get to the field with his tractor is blocked by a huge fallen oak tree. The tree had not been down long and would not yet be good for firewood so we decided to go back towards the entrance of the woods where I had noticed another large tree that was down but had been down for some time. We attempt to get to work. From the beginning the chainsaw gives me trouble. It is extremely hard to start. I mean you have to pull on this thing like you are trying to lose weight. I finally get it going and I started cutting. Within five minutes the chain comes off and I’m out of commission. Did Bryan bring any tools to work on the damn chainsaw? No. No he didn’t. We unhook the trailer and head to Walmart just to buy a wrench so I can take apart the chainsaw to put the chain back on. This takes 45 minutes out of our day. I fixed the chainsaw in the Walmart parking lot just in case I needed more tools. Off to the woods we go, again.
Upon return we get back started cutting wood. I am using the chainsaw and Jake is splitting and stacking. I fight the chainsaw all day. I even got so frustrated I put the chain on inside out. I spent most of the day learning this chainsaw and must say I am now an expert. Jake was having his own troubles splitting wood but I must say he worked his ass off and got the job done. We loaded the trailer about three fourths full and called it a day. But the looming cloud of rain and knowing we still had to unload the wood at home was still present.
Once we got home a friend of Jake’s showed up at the house and we put him to work. Michele even came out to help. Between the four of us we made short work of unloading and stacking the days catch. The next day I could hardly move. I am as sore as I have ever been. With all of the troubles we had I am still contemplating doing this more often to sell the firewood. We have a plentiful source of wood and I surely do need the exercise. But man it sure is easier to watch The Sopranos on TV.
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