I Thought I was Retired?

This morning I awake to a squeaky grinding noise coming from the bathroom. I knew Michele was in there getting ready for work and I was concerned the previous evening’s chili was taking it’s toll. As more consciousness came over me I could decipher  that it was her curling iron making the annoying noise. At a weak attempt for humor I asked her if she needed me to spray some WD-40 on it to cut the noise down but in a classic Tinkerbell way she didn’t get the joke and scolded me for trying to oil her hair. While she finished getting ready she asked the usual question of what was I going to do today. The answer was simple. The only things I wanted to do today was to get the tag for my trailer and build shelves in the garage. To my dismay that was not going to be the case.

After a brief discussion on the current teenager situation and how to deal with the ruffians she went to work telling me to have my attitude corrected by the time she returned. A notion I scoffed at, in my head. Of course her scolding me came after I offered to make her life easier by installing some new light switches and fixtures. It doesn’t take long for me to go from hero to zero. It probably didn’t help that I teased her about the fact that she was dressed but still scanning the closet for something to wear. I equated it to knowing what she wants to watch on TV but still scrolling through the channels just to know what else is on. A trait that I thought was only in men. She leaves and I drift back off to sleep knowing I have little to do today.

An hour later Daphne decided that it was time to get up. She does this with a gentle but painful scratch just above my hip on my right side that makes me sit straight up in the bed. With all three dogs outside it’s now time to cook breakfast. Bacon, eggs and wheat toast is quick to cook. I got myself ready and wrangled up Annabelle for a road trip. The temperature these days allows the dogs to go on trips even when I have to leave them in the Jeep. I only take one at a time because they have three different beliefs on how to mount and ride in a Jeep Cherokee. Anna and I head to Precinct Five just on the other side of the Island. I remember about a mile down the road that I have forgotten my wallet. Back to the house we go. Wallet obtained I try again. Since I am pulling the trailer I park along the back of the parking lot out of the way and head inside. The lady at the front desk is busily listening to her IPod and seems slightly miffed I bothered her. I tell her that I am there for a VIN verification and she calls someone on the intercom. Apparently they didn’t know I could hear both sides of the conversation because the officer was in a room behind me with the door open. He tells her that he will be there to help me in 15 minutes. Yes, I busted them out on that. With faces blushing he comes out to help me. This process takes about 20 minutes because he won’t listen when I tell him what the full VIN number is. VIN verified I head to the Tag Office. Again, because I am pulling the trailer I park way out in the back so I won’t block any good spaces. I walk up to the door only to find out the office is closed for lunch. Well shit.

I decide to make a run by the recycling center to throw away our old artificial Christmas tree that is riding in the trailer like a dog. I pull up and a gentleman with two teeth and a very pleasant attitude instructs me that the tree goes in one place while the box it’s in goes in another. He then gives Anna a bone which in my mind makes up for his dental absenteeism’s. I separate my stuff and head on home for my lunch.

I fire up the grill because I have a half of Rib-eye steak that has been on my mind since I halved it. I get the grill ready and lay on the wonderful piece of heaven. Then I go inside and get sucked into a movie on AMC and forget about the steak. Yep, it’s black on one side and raw in the middle when I finally realize what I’ve done. I eat said charcoal and get back to the business at hand.

I load up Daphne because it’s her turn to ride. We head back down to the Tag office where I spend about 20 minutes getting a trailer tag. No problems there. I trot over to the post office to drop off some mail. I had to go inside Kroger and surprisingly there was no drama there other than Daphne whines the whole time I was walking into the store which made me feel like crap. However, I didn’t feel too guilty because I noticed Daphne was eating the bone Anna got from two-teeth back at the dump. Daphne and I then travel across the street to the bank to ask a quick question. With Daphne putting on her best puppy dog eyes she obtained a second bone from the bank teller.

Finally we go home and settle in. There was more to the day. The children and I made a sad attempt to build a laundry table for Michele out in the garage. After Michele got home we ate supper and then Michele wrangled me into going to the hood with her to look at something for her job. I don’t mind these little details with Michele because I get her to myself. We took Olivia with us which is always a treat. A quick stop at the Yogurt place and back home we came.

I know that there are millions of people who work way harder everyday and I can appreciate that. But I went from zero to sixty today and I am flat worn out. Maybe I need to get out more often. Maybe I need to remember I am retired. Maybe I need a glass of wine and take my ass to bed. Not maybe, I am.